The Language Ninja is back, happily answering grammar-related questions that she has mostly not invented.

1. Question: Is there a significant difference between the phrases: “I could care less” and “I couldn’t care less?”

Answer: Although, lamentably, these two phrases are used interchangeably, yes — there is actually a huge difference. You see, I couldn’t care less means — literally — that the person uttering the phrase is physically, mentally and spiritually devoid of concern regarding the topic to which he or she is referring. If you couldn’t care about something to any lesser degree, then you are totally absent care. However, if you could care less, then you actually do care — albeit just a smidge. Whether the person using the expression realizes it or not, he or she is really communicating the opposite of what is intended: that there is an element of care left within his or her soul.

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In the wonderfully wacky world of online content and blogs, there are an array of competing opinions and disparate styles. What often lacks in the majority of business blogs is a unique “voice,” that essential yet somewhat misunderstood aspect of writing that makes it sound different from everything else. Developing a unique voice for your company’s online content is a sure-fire way to set your business apart from the competition and give readers (potential customers!) a little taste of what you’re really all about.

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Phew. It feels good to get that off my chest.

I feel I’m bit of a fraud. I’m a writer and a wordsmith; I was raised to love words and the complex emotions, ideas, and concepts that they can convey. And yet, I believe I am an active participant in a trend that is contributing to the destruction of not just the English language, but written language in general. What is this scourge in which I am a willing (if guilty) participant? It’s the cutest scourge EVAR! Emojis.

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So you’ve decided your company or client needs outside help with content creation: what now?  Knowing you need help and bringing in the Pros (see what we did there?) are excellent steps, but do you know what defines high-quality outsourced content?  Here are a few important qualities to look for when seeking outsourced content creation and professional writing for your company or one of your web design clients.  Content with these qualities will keep your clients happy and customers clicking.

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I will admit it – I am completely disinterested in reading anything that isn’t salacious, violent, incendiary or focused on weight loss.  Frankly, I think all digital content should be dedicated to serial killer reporting and bariatric surgery success stories – even commercial financing blogs could surely incorporate violent offender mug shot slideshows in a tasteful manner.

Nevertheless, I am completely aware that most digital marketing consultants would shudder at the thought of embracing my revolutionary innovations into their content development strategies and will only implement more socially palatable marketing solutions.  But I will suggest, for the sake of my own enjoyment as well as the general readerships’, that you make your content braver.

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When the online realm is your workspace, you’re always chasing after some idea of “cool.” The constantly shifting Internet landscape means fads, ideas, slang, and even Fortune 500 companies flash hot for a brief moment and then burn out just as quickly.

As professional writers making the online realm our office space, we think a lot about what defines cool. But we also think a lot about words themselves — their definitions, what makes one more

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Disclaimer: I’m not actually listing 86 reasons for anything in this article. I am, however, going to talk about a bizarrely niche area of psychological study: what makes headlines tick. A quick glance at a search engine result for… well, practically anything at all reveals that the vast majority of headlines have numbers in them.

From firsthand experience, I can say that any time I’m generating topics for clients, I’m always thinking of how to come up with 3 More Reasons Why Catchy Titles Are Essential or 4 Ways to Hook Readers with Headlines. That’s what everyone wants, because we’re all told that’s what really sells. Are formulaic headlines really that essential to your blog posts’ success?

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Hi Readers,

Or do you prefer “Dear Readers”?

Last week I came across an article in the BBC that asks the question, “Should e-mails open with Dear, Hi, or Hey?” An interesting question that, it seems, is still up for debate.

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Pavlov was definitely onto something. That guy knew exactly how to build excitement and keep his audience waiting at the edge of their seats—or the end of a leash, as the case may be—for his next performance. Granted, his performance was delivering dog treats, so not nearly as entertaining as a well-written blog post but the same rules apply: consistency of any action builds anticipation, for readers of your blog as well as man’s best friend. This is why it’s so important to establish a consistent posting schedule.

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Every once in a while we get a few orders from agency clients. These agencies serve as intermediaries, taking a cut for finding clients and then sending them our way with prefilled forms that include instructions on what the client wants. It’s a great win-win, as we get to flex our brains by writing about myriad topics which we otherwise might not have encountered, the agency gets its share of the revenue, and the client gets top-notch content. But there’s one issue I keep bumping into that’s resulted in my being one the phone with the agency a few times: a demand to stick within a single narrative voice throughout an entire document that’s going to be used for marketing purposes.

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