A couple years ago, I participated in the much-touted and much-maligned National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo). This annual event happens in November and is designed to inspire writers (and regular people) who struggle with procrastination, fear, distraction and time management in their quests to craft the next great American novel. I was a “winner” my first time out, meaning I completed the NaNoWriMo quest of cranking out 50,000 words in one month. Go me!
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Welcome once again to Language Ninja’s Q & A, where the Ninj answers burning grammatical and common usage questions. This week, we bring you a Holiday Grab-Bag of grammatical gaffes. Let’s get started!
Q: What is the difference between the terms ensure and insure? Don’t they essentially mean the same thing?
A: Eh… sort of. Not really.
Basically, the verb to ensure means to make sure/certain of. The verb to insure, on the other hand, means to provide protection against some kind of difficulty. These two definitions may seem kind of similar, but when you consider that insure is used only within the context of easing a financial or personal burden, while ensure carries no such specific good/bad implication, the distinction becomes clearer. By oiling the springs on her homemade spike traps, Gladys ensures the projectiles will easily pierce through the hearts of her victims.
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The Language Ninja is back, answering your burning grammatical questions. Of course, if the burning persists post-answer, see your doctor.
Q: What’s the difference between “who” and “whom,” and does it matter?
A: Well, the difference matters as much as any non life-threatening issue matters. The Ebola virus certainly doesn’t give a damn.
But, for those of you who either possess a high degree of intellectual curiosity or grammar-specific OCD, the who/whom distinction could be a weighty issue.
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Question: Ninja, tell me truly. Is grammar important, really?
Answer: Yes, of course! With a caveat.
See, grammar exists as a structure for the efficient communication of ideas. When we uniformly accept the common standards for a particular language, we are able to say what we mean and mean what we say. However, humans made the rules, and humans can gosh-darned well break them, too. Screw you, academia!
Language is Fluid
Language is fluid; usages change and we may even begin to use basic terms in radically different ways. The word hack may seem innocuous enough, but there are no less than seven common definitions for this one little term, and we aren’t even counting the archaic falconry and cheese-making associations (“I’m still hacking[1] up my lungs from when I had to hack[2] my way out of my burning apartment with a Rachel Ray kitchen knife, after that hack[3] who hacked[4] into my life-hack[5] website dropped a lit joint on my shag carpet, then called a hack[6] and fled because he couldn’t hack[7] it”).
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09 09 2014
“Who Gives a #@*$ About an Oxford Comma?”
If you have any hipster sensibilities, you may be familiar with New York-based rock band Vampire Weekend and one of its most widely known hits: “Oxford Comma.” The very NSFW lyrics, from which I pulled the title of this post, don’t actually take a side in the classic grammatical debate of “to serial comma or not to serial comma?” However, it’s definitely a catchy tune. Though it may reveal the band’s decidedly ambivalent stance on the Oxford comma question, the song also serves as evidence of this debate’s pervasiveness. Who ever thought a grammar question would become part of American pop culture?
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As a professional writer of web content, I am constantly fielding queries about what is and isn’t appropriate in terms of written communications and language use. Here are my responses to three of the most oft-repeated questions, one of which I didn’t just make up.
Question: R txt msg abbs apropri8 4 wrk? (Are text message abbreviations appropriate for work?)
Answer: It would certainly depend on your individual work environment. If you work for a narcotics trafficking organization, then yes, they’re perfectly fine. If you work anywhere else, then no.
Question: Is there a real difference between: they’re, their and there? Most of my reading is in Tweet form, where they are used interchangeably.
Answer: Excellent question. Yes, there is a significant difference. They’re, their and there are what are known as homophones. Homophones are words that are pronounced similarly (or even identically) when spoken, but might have wildly different meanings and uses, and are often (but not always) spelled differently. While this is a natural occurrence in the evolution of language, it nonetheless is the source of many hilarious misunderstandings involving the term “seaman.”
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06 05 2014
Will Robots Replace Editors?
The new, more globalized international economy means more and more processes are outsourced and automated. We’re growing increasingly accustomed to Bangalore-based telephone customer service agents and cheaply made garments manufactured in foreign factories with dubious health and safety standards. With globalization also comes mobilization; larger and larger varieties of services are available online from desktop computer or mobile devices. These shifts toward a more technologically empowered service sector are often exciting, but some of us in the writing and editing fields are dismayed at and distrustful of the growing prevalence of computer-generated copy and automated editing systems.
